As I wrote last week, my mate JB ran the Paris Marathon on Sunday. Here's part one of his take on how it went. Please note that what you are about to read isn't exactly going to be like Radio 4's From Our Own Correspondent...
Lining up on the Champs Elysees the nerves really start to kick in - Everyone around me looks a lot more prepared with packed utility belts, race plans and snazzy kit but after a quick look behind me at the Arc De Triomphe we’re underway to the tune of Chariots of Fire on the PA system.
Mile 1 – It’s really hard to keep a slow pace with the adrenaline really kicking in, especially when you’re running past thousands of cheering crowds and loads of TV cameras – I give one of the cameras a wave but then spend the next mile worrying it may have looked like a Nazi salute. There are dozens of discarded jumpers and bags so everyone’s being really careful not to slip over – that would be embarrassing...
Mile 1 (contd) – Nearly slip over.
Miles 2 – We’re past the cobbled section and into the really busy Paris streets. I was told the public here don’t get enthusiastic about the marathon but they seem really up for it and it’s a real buzz being cheered on.
Mile 3 – A little kid shouts “Allez John” from the pavement. For a minute I wonder what’s going on but then I remember he’s seen the name on my shirt. I decide to see how many attractive women I can get to shout my name.
Mile 4 – No attractive women have shouted my name.
Mile 5 – No attractive women have shouted my name.
Mile 6 – A Trevor Mcdonald look-alike shouts my name. I give him the thumbs up and shout “merci” – beggars can’t be choosers!
Mile 7 – We pass the 10km and I give the inflatable marker a little punch – my ill thought out race plan is to split the race into 4 10km blocks so one down three to go – I’m just behind the 4 hour marathon pace.
Mile 8 – Pick up a bottle of water at the drinks stop – it’s a bit of a scrum and you have to dodge other runners and bottles as people throw them on the side of the road. Getting one of them in the head would really hurt.
Mile 8 (contd) – get a bottle in the head.
Mile 9 – Things get a bit more challenging as we leave the city and head into a huge park where the crowds are a lot thinner. I decide to pass the time by coming up with my all time Leicester City best 11.
Mile 9 – I controversially choose Mike Whitlow at left back.
Mile 10 – I see a runner having a poo next to a tree and I’m relieved that I didn’t have that second banana at breakfast. It’s hilarious seeing all these people sprinting into the woods.
Mile 11 – I sprint into the woods for a quick pee!
Mile 12 – My legs are starting to feel a bit tight but I’m feeling ok coming up to the halfway point, it’s time to eat one of my gels – blueberry – nice!
Mile 13 – Over halfway, heading back into the city and the crowds are really beginning to grow. I overtake a man wearing a huge inflatable ball on his back. He’s really struggling so I give him a pat on the back and shout “bon courage.” I’ve done the half marathon in two hours, which could be a mistake!
In part 2...watch out for when John next sees the man with the inflatable ball and the R2D2 girl.
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