JB's Paris Marathon Part 2

...And here's how it ended.

Mile 14 – It’s getting serious now as we follow the river Seine past Notre Dame, with the Eiffel Tower coming into view in the distance. It’s the start of a series of tunnels, which finish with uphill sections into the fresh air. My left knee starts hurting, this isn’t good.

Mile 15 – A really small woman overtakes me - I reckon she’d give R2 D2 a run for his money in the height stakes – either I’m slowing down or she’s sprinting! We go through to Alma tunnel where Diana died although Royal history is the last thing on my mind at this point. It’s time to put Editors on the I-Pod.

Mile 16 – I get a few strange looks from fellow runners after shouting, “come on this is massive” in a loud voice. Not sure why I did it but with just 10 miles to go I was searching for anything to get me going.

Mile 17 – I’m really feeling it now and struggling to stay concentrated, this is the crucial time because the furthest I’ve ever run is 18 miles.

Mile 18 – My will power breaks and I start walking for a few yards then jogging and walking for a few yards before jogging again. Hopefully this won’t last long, it feels like I’m being overtaken by hundreds of people and ruining my chances of getting a good time. There are plenty of other people struggling but R2 D2 woman must be f**king miles away by now.

Mile 19 – A guy with John written on his back goes past and I decide to use him as my pacemaker. Suddenly an old guy runs past John and shouts “come on don’t let a old bloke beat you.” I accept the challenge.

Mile 20 – The old guy disappears into the distance.

Mile 21 – I think this is what they call the wall but it shows no sign of letting up. I’ve totally lost energy, it’s hard to concentrate, negative thoughts start creeping in and I can’t even come up with my all time worst Leicester City 11. Time to put the Charlatans on the I-Pod. A man on stilts overtakes me - this is getting ridiculous.

Mile 22 – I’m looking for anything to restore my energy so I grab dates, a sugar cube and an orange slice from one of the refreshment stands. Two hours ago kilometres were passing in a flash now they feel like they’re going on forever. I select Martin Hodge in goal but that’s as far as it goes. The man with the huge inflatable ball on his back overtakes me.

Mile 23 – I’m getting desperate for energy now and grab a cider from a stall on the side of the road. You can take the boy out of the westcountry but you can’t take the westcountry out of the boy.

Mile 24 – Finally there’s some light at the end of the tunnel and as I can feel the finish line getting closer I pick up a bit of pace. An attractive woman shouts my name.

Mile 25 – Everything hurts but I can hear the buzz at the finish in the distance, no way I’m going to stop running now.

Mile 26 – It feels pretty emotional as I get see the finish line but it still feels miles away. The road widens into a huge straight and I run close to the crowd to spur me on to the end and finally after 4 hours and 30 minutes I’m over. I’m pretty disappointed with the time but relieved I didn’t let anyone down by not finishing. I feel dreadful physically but getting my hands on the medal perks me up – it’s all over. Now where’s R2 D2 woman?!